As a married lady within the Church (not the church I am a part of in Chicago, but the larger network of Christians forming the universal Church) the notion that the most important job I have as a wife is respecting and submitting to my husband has been drilled into my head. Paul writes that… Read more »
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Asked by fempreg
Hi! Thank you so much! I really appreciate the support. I am so glad that you feel comforted in your beliefs. One of the reasons I started this blog was because I thought I was the only Christian who was a feminist - now I know that’s not true!
And yeah, being told that my posts come straight from Satan isn’t exactly fun, but I have been really trying to cling to James 1:19-20: My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. The whole reason I started this blog is because I want to engage in conversation with those who are against my convictions so that everyone can understand each other better and maybe in the process grow closer to Christ. And so, I always try to respond with love and understanding because just being angry and letting their hurtful responses sit in me is not helpful for anyone.
Thanks for reading :)
As a Feminist Christian, sex and sexuality tend to be fun areas for me to discuss because those are the areas where Christians and Feminists have the most contention. This issue can get so heated and passionate, that sometimes Iâm afraid to give my opinions on these issues out of fear for what my friends… Read more »
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[This review contains NO SPOILERS about the plot of Iron Man 3 beyond what is evident in trailers and TV spots]
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Asked by Anonymous
Hi there! First off, thanks for reading and thank you for the encouragement! :)
As for disagreement with Christian friends: If you had asked me even 2 or 3 years ago, you would encountered a passionate college woman who would have told you that if you don’t think the way I do, you’re just wrong and would have insisted you need get on my level. After growth in my faith and maturing when it comes to discussion, I see now the invaluable and necessary willingness to be able to disagree cordially Christians need to have.
The fact is, not every single Christian in a church or campus ministry is going agree on every single issue exactly. And I think it shouldn’t be about getting people to agree on everything, it’s about asking the question, “At the end of the day, is this a nonnegotiable?” I do believe there are negotiable and nonnegotiable issues when it comes to Christianity and Jesus. To me a nonnegotiable is anything that is required by God for salvation. These are the things that are absolutely necessary to identify as a Christian. First and foremost, the biggest is admitting that you are a sinner, that you need Christ. With this entails that you leave your life of careless sinning, and that your faith is the reason for you devotion to God, your motivator for repentance, and your sole reason for salvation. Paul makes it very clear in Romans that we are all sinners and we are only righteous through faith in Christ – not by our correct determination of gay marriage, not because we give 10% of our salary to the church; it is by faith alone we are saved.
Negotiables on the other hand are things that don’t make or break salvation and that people will always disagree on: gender roles, gay marriage, and predestination among a ton of other issues fall into this category. We can argue about these things until we are blue in the face but at the end of the day but these things do not determine our salvation. Now, don’t get me wrong. I absolutely believe it is imperative to really dig into to scripture, wrestle with it, be challenged by it, and try to determine what God’s word really means beyond our own interpretation. I think an issue arises however, when we decide that if people do not believe our convictions regarding the Bible, we doubt their salvation. Romans 3: 28 says, “For we maintain that a person is justified by faith apart from the works of the law.” People should not use negotiable issues to negate the nonnegotiable fact that if you truly give your life to Christ, you are saved.
Here is where it can get tricky. I do not know what campus ministry you go to or even what college you go to, but I had an unfortunate experience at the campus ministry I attended in college. Towards the end of my involvement with my campus ministry, it got to the point that because I didn’t believe their convictions regarding marriage and gender roles, it seemed as though they thought I didn’t have enough faith or submission to Christ. I was told by the then campus minister’s wife to never get married because of my views on marriage, I was told by a new Christian at the time that I was leading my friend’s into hell because of my views, and in general it felt like people doubted my faith. That was a big problem for me. I am ok with disagreeing about gender roles, I am ok with disagreeing about gay marriage, but for someone to question my love and submission to Christ because I don’t perfectly line up with their convictions on scripture is unbelievably arrogant, selfish, and prideful. That says that someone has figured out exactly what Christ meant and if you disagree with that person, you simply don’t love God enough - and that’s just wrong. How many times does the Bible ward off arrogance and the cautions against judging others because of our own imperfections? We can help each other and correct each other and even disagree with one another but if that disagreement causes you to think you are a little bit holier than someone else or think that you believe Jesus just a little bit more than someone else, there is a problem.
That is why the best advice I can give is to get away from the idea that everyone needs to be in 100% agreement about everything in order to worship our mighty God. We are all different and approach scripture differently. There will always be wiggle room for certain issues because we are sinful and that will always get in the way of being fully with God while we are on Earth. I would advise you to do what I did: shift your orientation from “we all need to believe 100% the same thing” to “we all believe Christ is our savior and that is what matters.” At the church I attend in Chicago, we have a husband-wife co-pastor team. One guy in the congregation does not believe woman should be preachers but he still comes to our church and loves people and loves her because he has made it clear that just because he disagrees with that one issue, “you’d have to be crazy to think that God isn’t moving here!” (His words!) Christians need to be able to trust that Jesus’ resurrection is the most important thing in our lives, not these secondary issues. I would encourage you to remember that and feel empowered to have discussions around disagreements. If someone says something that bothers you, bring it up in a loving and respectful way. If you begin to feel as though people start to doubt your loyalty to Christ because of your convictions, that’s when I would say to bring it up to the campus pastor and if it doesn’t change, maybe consider a new campus ministry. Disagreement about secondary issues is ok, but if this campus ministry is making you feel less than or is not encouraging you on your walk with Christ, then you deserve a group of Christians that can encourage you. Don’t let other people make you think you love Christ less or are submissive to Him any less because you don’t agree with their convictions.
I hope that answers your question and please feel free to message me or email me if you want to continue our little conversation!
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